It's true that one of the best ways to learn about yourself is to really get to know those two people that bore
you. There's no substitute for this. Thankfully it was designed that way (and we still try to find other ways to replace it due to human nature's tendency not to face itself). I say this with a large dose of humor, not with pain or self recrimination. It's good to heal that familial circle if at all possible. Take the leap, be vulnerable and go for it.
I am happy to be who I am, but I am still discovering truths about myself everyday that must be faced if I am to continue growing as an adult human being, father, and partner. There's a Gem beyond comparison in sharing this with my father. I am Really Happy to say that I can do that. There's a welcoming openess in our relationship that I am so thankful for...So thankful for. This kind of thing can't be forced, or duplicated, yet many of us just allow the distance to remain perhaps feeling the chasm between us and a true heart felt relationship with our parents to be too large to cross without a measurable amount of work. Perhaps we are right, but even if we are we can still put one foot in front of the other and begin the Journey. We certainly will not get there by doing nothing. I believe that in life the rewards of surmounting a challenge are comensurate to the effort that the challenge requires. There is no substitution for a True, Loving Friendship with your parents. Those that have them know this.
The healing may take more on your part. It's worth it. What you may receive will overshadow any inclination of imbalance of initiative. Most of what disturbs us about our parents (unless you are one of those with no conflict) are attributes that we ourselves possess or have worked Really hard not to. In any case it's a win-win no matter how you slice it AND a pristine mirror.
Raising a child of your own is like the other end of developing a real relationship with your parents. For me, it's kind of like standing in the middle of two mirrors facing each other. It gets kind of 'hot', but it's a wholistic, self evolving, transforming 'heat' with Beauty and Love at it's Core. All good.
Relationships take work, especially where there is history, blood family or otherwise. They take an investment of yourself: your energy, your time, your vulnerability, and your honesty, but when they're the Real Deal they Give you what Nothing else in Life can-- Wholeness, Completeness, and a One of a Kind Love. Folks, It's What We Live For. It's one thing to read it on a page, but experiencing it for yourself?.....Well,....it turns it all into GOLD.
There is faith, hope and love, but the Greatest of these is Love.
