Our forgiveness of ourselves cannot be predicated on whether others forgive us for our mistakes. That would be missing the point entirely. Growing and evolving through our own process must be an independent yet related flow to the mirror that others provide. What they provide and what we see in that mirror IS feedback, but it has to be taken in, mixed with compassion and love and then redirected through our own centers of self-reflection and learning. No matter what we are, who we are....even with all of our (--I use this word loosely) 'idiosyncrasies' we are still with ourselves and it is our job to take care of who we are.
"What others think of us is none of our business" is a quote from someone somewhere that I have heard over and over through the years. While this is true, others still provide a barometer of sorts of how we are. I think the sweet spot is somewhere in the mix between the experiential feedback that we receive from our experiences and how much dissonance we encounter when we reflect on the experiences later. I believe the truth is in the 'afterimage' that we encounter when alone and have had time to reflect in a prayerful, balanced light within the heart.