Ask anyone who's been in one for 20 years or more. I think a big part of the puzzle is that Both people have to want it to work. If one gives up before the other then you aren't on equal footing. There has to be a reason to keep you committed to it, and that reason needs to be formidable. The relationship has to have a deep importance to you.
In this day and age of ADD culture it may be asking a lot of the individual to have patience and step back to take a grander view of the 'big picture', but this is exactly what is required if we are to return to the passé ideology of generations before.....and cultivate long lasting intimate relationships. Our lover/partner has to be our Best Friend. Can we find that Best Friend In our intimate partner? If we cannot or do not put forth the commensurate effort, then the clock is ticking.
Vulnerability always seems to be key to this process ( there is no escaping it), and it is a conundrum of sorts. This person, which we are challenged to allow in to our most vulnerable places then has the ability or the access to hurt us. Perhaps they have in the past and so then forgiveness becomes part of this equation of salvation. Whether or not they Have hurt us in the past, it is likely that someone has, and so it follows that Trust, Vulnerability, and Forgiveness are here together--all holding hands.
We can meet these Fellows of ours willingly and allow the Blooming of our Inner Beauty and Fulfillment to take place or we can be afraid for a Million reasons and back away and put it off for another day, another relationship, or another lifetime,.....but why? "If not you, then Who? If not now, then When?"
--a Zen saying There is faith, hope and love, but the Greatest of these is Love.
In this day and age of ADD culture it may be asking a lot of the individual to have patience and step back to take a grander view of the 'big picture', but this is exactly what is required if we are to return to the passé ideology of generations before.....and cultivate long lasting intimate relationships. Our lover/partner has to be our Best Friend. Can we find that Best Friend In our intimate partner? If we cannot or do not put forth the commensurate effort, then the clock is ticking.
Vulnerability always seems to be key to this process ( there is no escaping it), and it is a conundrum of sorts. This person, which we are challenged to allow in to our most vulnerable places then has the ability or the access to hurt us. Perhaps they have in the past and so then forgiveness becomes part of this equation of salvation. Whether or not they Have hurt us in the past, it is likely that someone has, and so it follows that Trust, Vulnerability, and Forgiveness are here together--all holding hands.
We can meet these Fellows of ours willingly and allow the Blooming of our Inner Beauty and Fulfillment to take place or we can be afraid for a Million reasons and back away and put it off for another day, another relationship, or another lifetime,.....but why? "If not you, then Who? If not now, then When?"
--a Zen saying There is faith, hope and love, but the Greatest of these is Love.